I was Poking Fun. You Took Me Serious.

Heather and I have had so much fun through the years. On one of our first dates a few weeks after we met, we went to a jewelry store and priced engagement rings. Later, on the way home, Heather found a baby blanket in the back seat (I had borrowed the car from a neighbor with small kids). She wrapped the blanket to look like she had an actual baby and I would honk at every car we passed and yell, “IT’S A BOY!” People were honking back, flashing their lights, and giving us their big thumbs up.

We met on a blind date. She was visiting my home town with two of her friends. After the main activities with the other two couples, my two friends had to be home in bed for early work the next day. After dropping them off, I took Heather and her friends out into the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. We sat by a river in the dark and told scary ghost stories.

The popular movie at the time was Grease. We saw it together and had a blast. She was still in high school. I had just graduated. I made a few trips to her home town during the school year and would show up at her school to surprise her. On one occasion, I showed up on a day yearbook photos were taken so I have the honor of being in a few pictures in her senior yearbook.

We wrote a lot of letters. We always used the some form of “S.W.A.K.” on the back of the envelope but never actually used “S.W.A.K.” (S.W.A.K. = “Sealed with A Kiss” for you younger types that have no clue what “snail mail” is). We were too creative for that. Sometimes it got rather long. For example, I may have sent her one with, “S.W.A.L.B.T.K.W.T.D.T.S.T.E!” (Sealed With A Lick Because The Kiss Was Too Dry To Seal The Envelope). I loved getting her letters and she kept all of mine. I think I kept all of hers but my mom was a clean freak and tossed them while I was away at college. She also tossed several thousand baseball cards my brothers and I collected in our childhood that would be worth a giant sum of money today. THANKS MOM!

Another popular movie at the time was “Foul Play” with Chevy Chase and Goldie Hawn. There was a line in the movie that we had a lot of fun with. The line was, “Beware the Dwarf”. When we’d write letters, aside from the S.W.A…, we’d usually put some sort of reference to the “Dwarf” like, “Behind you, there’s a little, small guy. HE HAS A KNIFE. Look out for him”, or “Watch out of the Elf”.

I love Heather’s sense of humor. She laughs a lot. She thinks I’m funny. She tells me she married me because I make her laugh. At this point in our lives, she’s grown tired of my sense of humor and only laughs when I’m naked. And she points. I think it’s rude but, hey, she’s still here. Pointing. And laughing. RUDE!

Heather and I, from the moment we met, had a connection that we’ve never felt with anyone else. We’re best friends. We can sit and talk for hours. We can sit in silence with no discomfort. We can make each other laugh with a simple look. We’re lucky to have each other. We didn’t date much from the time we met to the time we got married. I went off in one direction and she went off in hers. It took us over six years to find each other again, still single, and figure out we were made for each other. The two greatest days of my life are when I met this gorgeous chick and when I married her.

We’ve built a very nice life together. With five kids, we’re usually very busy. A few grandkids thrown into the mix and life never gets dull.

The fun we have has translated well into our bedroom. Making love to Heather has always been an adventure for me. My desire to see her smile and laugh doesn’t end when we’re naked. I love seeing and hearing her laugh when my manhood is buried inside her. We’ve had some good belly laughs while making love.

Our first good sex laugh was on our wedding night. I was on top thrusting in and out of her. She was so wet and I was sweating. Our hips were pounding each other. At some point, the motion of our hips mixed with the fluids created a suction and our serious lovemaking was interrupted by fart sounds. We didn’t expect that and we started laughing. When we finished our laugh, I started pounding again. FART. FART. FART. This made us laugh hysterically all while my hard member was just hanging out in her wetness. We now just call them our “sex sounds” and enjoy trying to get our hips to “fart” at every opportunity.

Just a few weeks ago, after we discovered MH.com, we were in the middle of my multi-orgasmic wife having forty (YES, 40, we counted) “mini” orgasms. She had her first 4 with me snacking on her sensuous pussy. She beckoned me to lie on top of her and mount her. That position accounted for the next 28. When she hit 34, she ordered me off. She said she was just too sensitive and exhausted.

I wasn’t ready to stop but I didn’t go against her wishes. When I slid out and moved beside her, I saw a great opportunity for her to masturbate herself to her orgasms. She didn’t want to but gave in and started rubbing her overly sensitive clit. She climaxed almost immediately.

She was in full “whine” mode and begged me to let her stop. I laughed and said, “NO WAY!” She continued but wasn’t too happy about it. She hit 36 and suddenly there was a knock at the door. It was our 19 year old daughter, our youngest. I whispered to Heather, “This is probably your mood killer.”

So, my dear wife answers the knock. “Hello?”

“Mom, can I take the car? I need to pick up my friend from work.”

Right in the middle of the question, Heather orgasms. I burst out laughing. Heather is nearly in tears but laughs along with me.

“MOM! Did you hear me?”

“Yes. Go ahead. Take the … OH MY!”

Another orgasm. No mood breakers here.

I’m still laughing and Heather is trying to get me to answer our daughter. I just shook my head, no. She’s laughing but is on the verge of tears. Then cums again. She finally had enough and pulled her hand away but left it there, blocking me from continuing, knowing I would try to keep it going. But I’m sneaky. I started telling her how hot it was to witness 40 orgasms. During that conversation, I whispered, “sexual” in her ear. She tensed up and almost climaxed again. That gave us another good laugh.

It took until the day after that for her clit to die down from the hyper sensitivity it was experiencing. Every opportunity I saw, I reached between her legs to rub it. She would giggle and try to squirm away. It was a fun game of cat and clit.

Our life has been fun when making love and one of us thinks of something funny and will just start laughing. Nobody ever told us that this lovemaking thing is serious business. To me, it’s all about poking fun. I love poking fun. Sometimes she takes me serious. She took me serious five times. But we have five wonderful kids because she lacked of humor on those occasions. 

Heather is my life. My love. My beacon. My hopes. My dreams. My everything. She’s the reason I smile in the mornings, work so hard during the day, and why I come home at night. When my life is over, I want to look back on my life with Heather and say, “What’re you laughing at? AND QUIT POINTING! It’s rude to point!”